Charlie Sheen: Rehabs Image on Mother's Day

"I am teaching [my 2-year old twins] words, because they're speaking now. I'm teaching them the word 'rehab' so they always know where their mom is."

(TMZ)

Charlie Sheen: Criticizes Drunks, Minus Irony

"If I told people what to expect maybe they wouldn’t heckle me like the drunk clowns that they are."

(NY Mag)

Charlie Sheen: Gets a Legal Escort, Allegedly

"I just landed. We had a police escort and we ran more red lights than Brooke Mueller heading to a pawn shop."

(Daily Caller)