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Steven Wright: Babies on Vacation?
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here? You've never worked a day in your life!'"
John McCain: Sleeps Like a Baby
"I respect anybody who's willing to run for president. After I lost, I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry."
Gilbert Gottfried: Now He Remembers
“This is true. A documentary on The Military Channel said 'Hitler did not like dirty jokes.' I knew there was a reason I didn't like Hitler.”
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