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Wednesday
Apr092014

Stephen Colbert: Tiny Maps for Sale!

"I've never been a fan of maps. If they're at 1/10,000th scale, then why am I supposed to pay 'full' price?"

(Twitter)

Thursday
May312012

Steven Wright: Babies on Vacation?

"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here? You've never worked a day in your life!'"

(Twitter/Tour)

Saturday
Mar032012

John McCain: Sleeps Like a Baby

"I respect anybody who's willing to run for president. After I lost, I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry." (Tonight Show)
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