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Stephen Colbert: Tiny Maps for Sale!
"I've never been a fan of maps. If they're at 1/10,000th scale, then why am I supposed to pay 'full' price?"
Steven Wright: Babies on Vacation?
"Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here? You've never worked a day in your life!'"
John McCain: Sleeps Like a Baby
"I respect anybody who's willing to run for president. After I lost, I slept like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry."
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